Is My Pastor A Good Pastor? – A Quick Litmus Test

A few thangs:As you go about the Father’s business today, be sure to include urgent and believing prayer for your under-shepherd. That man has toiled for at least a week about how to guide a room full of people who love him, hate him, or are indifferent toward him. #LetHimEnjoyHisJob #ItsLiterallyInTheBible #Hebrews13 If your pastor […]

Two. The number of Sears technicians it takes to screw in a lightbulb – November 1, 2020

I wish I were kidding but I am not. The little guy told the big guy, “…and the bulb goes right into the socket right there.” “Oh, I see. Like this?” “Yes.” Historical and cultural context on how simple this should be: my husband has replaced the bulbs in that thing before. This is to […]

We Regret to Inform You

When the report is good, we lead with it. Hemming and hawing is out of place here. Straight out of the gate the doctor exclaims, “Congratulations!” or the company confirms, “You‘re hired!” or, after a frenzied search I bellow, “I found my size – and it has pockets!” No feather-filled blanket of kind words needs […]

Find an illustration more analogous to life than one from the garden. I’ll wait.

I’m smarter now that I learned these truths while gardening today: 1. If you consistently feed a houseplant with nutrients and give it water to drink, it will eventually outgrow its pot and need a bigger one. 2. If you only give a plant water – no nutrients – it may still grow, but it […]

The Top Five *Philip Bailey voice* Reeeasoooons This Particular Sabbatical is Critical (Warning: Not A Funny Post. Very Serious. I’m Listening to Charlie Cunningham’s “Force of Habit” to Ensure I Don’t Fall Back on my Comedy Career in this Post. It’s A Contemplative Song in My Playlist Titled Contemplative Playlist.)

My phone was open to “Screen Time” accidentally and I discovered that a good chunk of my day is spent online. I guessed that I averaged five-ish hours a day on my phone and while I’m happy to report that the amount of time I spend there is down 19% from last week, 12 hours […]

It’s 12:22 PM and My Kids Are Still Asleep and Ain’t Nobody Mad But the Devil and My Husband

My 10-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son assembled a homemade tent to sleep in. The materials included several bed coverings of various sizes, plus my snow-white blanket I had freshly laundered but not yet folded, a curtain rod extension, four flimsy fold-out chairs and one solid one, and a broken-zippered sleeping bag which is now only […]

Untitled

The year was 2006. I was employed at a small consulting firm. The husband-and-wife team of owners was out of the office so one other employee and myself were the only two people in the small, two-story office building on a typically cold, January morning in Denver. The other worker – I want to call […]

This is my website. Let me tell you how I see this going down, a’ight? A’ight.

Making people laugh is my calling. My calling, I say. So when you read what is written here, thou shan’t be taken off guard when you find yourself doing so. Be it a well-timed, flawlessly executed joke or one that doesn’t land (my goodness, those are the worst because now I’m having to explain to […]