2024 #1

I keep seeing posts like this on social media: “Remember the people who checked on you and remember the ones who didn’t.“

The implication is that the people who did check actually care about you, and the ones who didn’t – don’t.

May I offer a different perspective?

The truth could be that the ones who reached out don’t really care about you, they’re just nosey.

And the ones who didn’t check do care, but are dealing with a series of crises (life be life-ing out here.)

I hadn’t spoken with a mentor of mine in many, many months. I thought nothing of it because, as previously discussed, life happens. I later found out that she had cancer, and only because she posted a video of herself on social media ringing the bell to mark the milestone indicating the completion of radiation and chemotherapy treatment.

One of my dearest friend’s son passed away. During his illness, several of us reached out to her many times with words of encouragement and prayers of support, but received no response. The grief had her down for the count.

Can you imagine walking in either of their shoes, walking, maybe even crawling from day to day, with only enough energy to survive, then have someone say of you, “you didn’t check on me”?

The reason for the silence of those you deem should be vocal may not be as extreme as a physical malady or sudden loss. They could be struggling with myriad other matters: being defeated at their work, fighting to save their child, a marriage on the brink of divorce…they may be so overwhelmed that they have no margin in their lives in this season.

Or they could not be struggling at all. It just slipped their mind to engage with you, and then they looked up and three months had gone by.

Either way, we are nuanced, complex people.

In light of this, we should be kind.

We should be gracious.

We should be forgiving.

In the same way you are a recipient of these gifts, you must go bearing these gifts to others.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (emphasis mine.)

Let’s go in 2024 keeping that in mind.